Right, so I went to
see Josh Trank’s Fantastic Four tonight. It’s possible that you might have
heard about it. You know, the film that got the lowest-ever score on Rotten
Tomatoes? The film that’s the worst abomination cinema has ever known? The film
that’s an affront to everything that’s good and right in the world? Why are we
just sitting here gabbing when we could be tarring and feathering Josh Trank? THE MAN’S
A MONSTER.
OK, stop. No. You've had your fun. Can
we maybe, perhaps, stop being so hysterical about this thing? No, it’s not the
best comic-book movie ever made. But you know what? It’s pretty far from the
worst. Here are just a few shittier comic-book movies: X-Men Origins:
Wolverine, Daredevil, Blade Trinity, Man-Thing. Batman Returns, Batman &
Robin, Batman Forever, Superman III, Superman IV, Ghost Rider, Green Lantern. In my own personal rankings, Josh Trank’s Fantastic Four is probably on a par with Louis Leterrier’s The Incredible
Hulk – which admittedly, is my least favourite MCU movie, but it’s by no
means abominable (see what I did there?).
Some context first.
Being primarily a lifelong X-Men fan, I’ve had a long time to get used to the idea that
movies and comics are very different things. The first X-Men film offered only
the merest of glimpses of my personal vision of Marvel’s Merry Mutants
– and while I loved it anyway, it wasn’t without a certain amount of internal conflict about
all the things they got completely wrong (i.e. changed for cinema). Eventually
I reached the stage where I was comfortable with the idea that the cinema and
comic universes were very different – complementary, perhaps, but their
own entities. In many ways, the relationship between comics and cinema is much
like Marvel 616 and the Ultimate Universe – the latter being a more
streamlined, simplified, ‘cooler’ take on the former. It’s no coincidence that
the movies have often turned to the Ultimate line for inspiration. And this
latest iteration is no exception, plucking most of its story elements directly
from the first couple of arcs of Ultimate
Fantastic Four. The MCU also drinks deep from the Ultimate well – the most
stark (excuse the pun) example being the casting of Samuel L. Jackson as Nick
Fury, given that his likeness was appropriated for The Ultimates.
Point being, I can happily see my comic films as parallel worlds or What Ifs?, as counterparts to the comics. I don’t require verisimilitude. The MCU and the Avengers do not, to me, feel like their comic counterparts, but I dig them both. I’m happy to take the films on their own terms, just as I take the comics in that fashion.
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| The one true Fantastic Four |
Given all that,
which is a roundabout way of saying a) this film is not very much like the 616
universe, and b) I'm not really all that concerned about that, what to make of Fantastic Four?
Taken on its own terms, it’s… well, a bit weird. The first two-thirds, a slow-burn sci-fi character study, are actually pretty compelling. The early bonding between child genius Reed Richards and best buddy from the wrong side of the tracks Ben Grimm is handled beautifully, and their bond is palpable and believable. Reed’s encounter with Franklin Storm and his induction into the interdimensional project is intriguing. And following the inevitable accident, the subsequent transformations, before our heroes learn to cope with their powers, make for some unexpectedly compelling, unsettling scenes of body horror.
But then there’s a sudden and huge leap – a ‘one year later’ leap. And it’s here where things start to unravel. Many others have mentioned this, but it really does feel like a big, generic mega-budget superhero blockbuster was awkwardly pasted onto a pretty interesting, simmering, atmospheric sci-fi flick, and the two don’t gel well at all. [Insert your own speculation here about studio interference and/or director meltdown and assign blame accordingly.] While there are some fun scenes in the latter third, the pacing becomes a desperate dash to the finish and it’s all ultimately a bit unsatisfying. What could have been an interesting, slower, quieter take on the superhero genre ends up as little more than a slightly confused prequel to some far better films that will most likely never be made.
Taken on its own terms, it’s… well, a bit weird. The first two-thirds, a slow-burn sci-fi character study, are actually pretty compelling. The early bonding between child genius Reed Richards and best buddy from the wrong side of the tracks Ben Grimm is handled beautifully, and their bond is palpable and believable. Reed’s encounter with Franklin Storm and his induction into the interdimensional project is intriguing. And following the inevitable accident, the subsequent transformations, before our heroes learn to cope with their powers, make for some unexpectedly compelling, unsettling scenes of body horror.
But then there’s a sudden and huge leap – a ‘one year later’ leap. And it’s here where things start to unravel. Many others have mentioned this, but it really does feel like a big, generic mega-budget superhero blockbuster was awkwardly pasted onto a pretty interesting, simmering, atmospheric sci-fi flick, and the two don’t gel well at all. [Insert your own speculation here about studio interference and/or director meltdown and assign blame accordingly.] While there are some fun scenes in the latter third, the pacing becomes a desperate dash to the finish and it’s all ultimately a bit unsatisfying. What could have been an interesting, slower, quieter take on the superhero genre ends up as little more than a slightly confused prequel to some far better films that will most likely never be made.
A few closing
points, good and bad.
GOOD: The Thing
looks great in motion. Pants or no pants, this is by far the best rendering of live-action Benjy yet.
Sometimes he feels like he could stand to have a little more weight, but he’s a
sturdy presence nonetheless.
BAD: The best
scenes from the trailer, of Ben being dropped from a place onto a military
installation and wrecking the joint, were cut from the film at a late stage. A pretty shocking
omission.
GOOD: Miles Teller
carried the film as young Reed Richards, and to me inhabited the role really
well. He had the awkwardness, the drive, the intense intelligence… could have used a little mania, but I liked him.
In fact, all four team members were well cast, even if their interaction could
have been handled better (see next point).
BAD: Before this
film came out, I was confident that, whatever else happened, Trank (whose affinity for character work was well chronicled in, err, Chronicle) could relied
upon to grasp what makes the FF unique – their family dynamic. But the
ball was majorly dropped here. Reed & Ben were a tight lifelong partnership, and Sue
& Johnny’s sibling relationship was good – tense and cool, though warming up – but as a quartet…? Reed and Sue
had some extremely tentative flirting and burgeoning chemistry, but were
basically work colleagues, while Johnny & Ben barely even speak to each
other until the closing scene, and there's no real sense of the four as a team. Poor.
GOOD: For all the
hoo-ha about Michael B. Jordan and Kate Mara playing siblings – because oh
my god, how could that ever happen in real life, apart from all the ways in
which it can and does happen?! – this was played nicely and not turned into a
tiresome plot point. A brief mention about adoption, and that’s all (arguably,
even that was unnecessary, as Franklin had already mentioned she was his
daughter).
BAD: This is the
big one. Dr Doom was absolutely bloody awful. No getting around it. Looked
terrible. Had no presence. No menace. No aristocratic arseholeness. While, as
mentioned, I don’t require faithfulness to the comic, this Dr Doom retained
nothing that’s interesting about Victor aside from the name. Nothing. Not one
thing. The great thing about Doom is that he is a self-made man of power, and
as such considers himself superior to the misbegotten freaks of nature that are
the FF. Why Trank decided to repeat the mistake of Tim Story and portray Doom
as just another superpowered freak is beyond me. And worse, Doom here is no
imperious, arrogant megalomaniac, but just a mopey, slobby nihilist bent on pointless
destruction because… well, reasons, OK? He was essentially fruit-dehydrating maniac Eddie from Friends, covered in broken glowsticks and duct tape, with an ill-defined assortment of superpowers. Had this character simply been renamed Annihilus
or the Molecule Man, it might have worked better, but this was just a colossal
waste of one of comics’, nay fiction’s, most interesting characters. Crap, I tells ya. Crap!
(Addendum: Come to think of it...he's a creepy looking techno-organic thing, has freaky cosmic powers, he's a nihilist bent on destruction, and lives in the frickin' Negative Zone. He bloody well IS Annihilus. Well, Annihilus-lite.)
(Addendum: Come to think of it...he's a creepy looking techno-organic thing, has freaky cosmic powers, he's a nihilist bent on destruction, and lives in the frickin' Negative Zone. He bloody well IS Annihilus. Well, Annihilus-lite.)
A mid-tier movie,
then. Starts well, ends badly. Shit Doom. Far from perfect, but not deserving of the nigh-universal, excessive opprobrium.
